Old Man in Love

With nothing but a body aged and solid like a Grecian coffer, in place of something less empty than Bacchus’s goblet, I come to you naked in my intention. But that moment on the carpet, our veins filled with silvered rain. It doesn’t matter if the pile is grey or sparse, like the hair on my head; the faded flowers are the warp and weft of who we really are. And I, like a suckering fish, cling to you symbiotically, when rapids overwhelm. For you are that leap of faith, offered to no other.

Cracked Heart

©Talia Hardy 2014

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Old Man in Love

      • I am not sure how skilled I will be at finding anomalies…but I can try to break it down at least. I’ll be honest, the word flow is confusing (and I am not literary major!) –

        The first sentence seems to reference a man that has nothing to show for himself (in all his experience) except for his old body. You reference a Grecian (ancient Greek) chest or strongbox. I don’t know if this is alleged towards Athenian or more of a Spartan image, but it seems that the man has a physique worth mentioning. So, he must have been a warrior of some kind. The reference to Bacchus (a god of intoxication, who really never had an empty goblet) must say suggest that there is more to the man than what meets the eye. He is more than just a warrior.

        The rest of the poem takes a wild turn, personally, that drifts away from what was shared in the first sentence. He is approaching someone (a woman I would assume) with intent to ravish. But, there he is met with an emotion that it is greater than what he had expected. The rest of the poem is in reference to something that I am unfamiliar with, but the emotion behind the words is clear. The last sentence is saying that despite his age, and his appearance, there is the fabric of what makes him whole. It is his hope that the one he loves can see him for who he really is instead of his aged appearance. Love knows no bounds is the essential message behind the poem. At least, that was my interpretation.

  1. Thanks Josh, for your analysis. It is right on the mark of what I hoped to achieve. Maybe it isn’t as bad as I thought it initially was. And yes you are absolutely correct. the word flow is confusing and needs correcting.

What works well for you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s